The Misunderstood Gesture
At the age of 15, curiosity about languages led me to enroll in a German course. I was always keen to immerse myself in new cultures and their languages, and German seemed like a fascinating challenge. The first level was a whirlwind of new phrases and fun lessons, delivered in a group of eager learners. It felt easy enough—basic sentences like “How do I ask for the bathroom?” or “I don’t understand” were neatly printed on the walls for us to memorize. The language of the classroom was always clear, and I felt equipped to navigate the basics of German.
But when I moved on to the second level, things took a turn. The class was smaller, composed mostly of older students, and the familiar “cheat sheets” were nowhere to be found. Now, it was serious business. There were no simple phrases to copy from the walls, and suddenly I was in a place where I felt less comfortable. I was still just a kid, and trying to communicate in a new language was already difficult—throw in the fact that no one really spoke my language, and things started to feel intimidating.
One Saturday morning, after a particularly long lesson, I felt that familiar urge—the need to visit the bathroom. But here’s the catch: I didn’t know how to ask. I could barely form full sentences in German at that point, and there was no sentence printed on the wall that would help me. The teacher, Frau Kärten, was German, and spoke no Portuguese. The students, all much older than me, didn’t seem particularly friendly, and none of them were close enough for me to ask for help. So, what does a 15-year-old with limited German do? I turned to my trusty fallback: mime.
I raised my hand and said, “Frau Kärten, bitte,” which translates to "Miss Kärten, please." She looked at me, puzzled. I then pointed to my crotch with a finger and gestured toward the door. As you might imagine, that didn’t quite come across as I intended.
To my horror, Frau Kärten’s face turned a shade of crimson, and the classroom erupted in chaos. She scurried out of the room, probably to find the director. Meanwhile, the other students were laughing, unsure whether to join in or just look away. I tried, in vain, to explain my situation, but my German mime had left everyone convinced I was some kind of pervert. I was mortified.
That was just the beginning. After the incident, I became the center of attention in that class. Frau Kärten, who had clearly misunderstood my innocent request, would frequently give me the side-eye, making sure I understood the “proper” way to ask for the bathroom. If anything, I had unintentionally turned myself into a class legend, albeit one for the wrong reasons. At the end of the semester, when I went to collect my grade, I received a generous “sufficient to pass”—which, in hindsight, seemed like a kind gesture, given the circumstances.
After that experience, I never returned to study German. Perhaps it was the embarrassment, or maybe it was simply the realization that I wasn’t cut out for learning it, at least not in a classroom.
Two years later, I found myself in Germany, a place I had once fantasized about visiting. My German wasn’t great, but it was enough to get me by. I could say things, like ordering a beer, or thanking someone, but when it came to understanding the responses? I might as well have been speaking gibberish. I remember trying to ask a vendor if I could take a photo of some trinkets he was selling. With my limited grasp of German, I thought my mime skills might work again—wrong move. The vendor wasn’t impressed, and rather than nodding in understanding, he insisted I buy something before taking a picture. That’s how I ended up with a ridiculous military hat, which I had to purchase simply to appease the vendor.
And so, the story came full circle. I had learned the hard way that the language of gestures doesn’t always translate well, especially not in Germany. I didn’t get the photo I wanted, but I did end up with a souvenir, which, by the way, I’ll save for another story.
But one thing is certain: I’ll never underestimate the power of language—or the misunderstanding of a well-meaning gesture.
Tschüß!